Co-Parenting After Divorce

 Posted on June 16, 2014 in Divorce

While a divorce decree may signal the end of the road for you and your ex-spouse as a couple, you will still remain in each other’s lives if there are children involved. Just because the marriage has been dissolved does not relieve either party of their parenting responsibility. Like it or not, there will still be shared parenting responsibilities with an ex-spouse and it is in the children’s best interest for their parents to work together amicably and efficiently.

Tips for Co-Parenting with an Ex-Spouse

It may be a challenge for parents to put personal issues and feelings aside to form a cordial relationship with their ex-spouse for the benefit of their shared children. However, divorced parents should look at this as a new start and always put their children’s need before their own.

An article suggests the following tips on co-parenting successfully for newly divorced parents:

Set Hurt and Anger Aside - This involves putting your own feelings behind the needs of your children, a difficult yet vital part of co-parenting. Do not let your feelings dictate your behavior, but stay motivated by what is best for your children. Even if there are times you cannot control negative feelings towards your ex-spouse, never let those issues affect your children.

Communicate with your Ex - Strive for peaceful and purposeful communication with your ex, keeping your child’s well being the primary concern. Try to establish conflict-free communications. You can use the following methods to maintain effective communication: setting a business-like tone, making requests, listening, showing restraint, communicating consistently, and keeping all conversations focused around your children.

Parent as a Team - You will have to make many joint decisions with your ex about your kids, so try to cooperate and speak to each other without fighting. Aim for consistency, courtesy, and teamwork. Children will appreciate the stability of living according to the same basic set of expectations at each home. Be open and honest about important issues, and try to navigate any disagreements with respect and compromise.

Make Transitions Easier - Transitions involved in divorce are a major change for children. Parents can help ease negative emotions associated with transitions by helping their children anticipate them, getting ready for them in advance, and allowing the parent in custody to drop off the kids at the end of their time. When your child returns from being with your ex-spouse, engage in a quiet activity, give the child space if he or she needs it, and work on establishing a special routine for their return.

Child Custody and Support Attorney