Is “Conscious Uncoupling” the Divorce of the Future?

 Posted on April 16, 2014 in Divorce

Gwyneth Paltrow has been making headlines lately, and the stories do not necessarily cast the movie star in a positive light. She’s been known to make out-of-touch comments in the past, and recent events have been no exception. One remark alluded to the fact that “regular” moms who work 9-to-5 jobs have a more manageable schedule than film stars, who often have to work 14-hour days for a few weeks in a row. The backlash from women across the country was palpable immediately following the interview. The other communication that earned Paltrow notoriety in the press was her announcement recently that she and her husband have decided to part ways by what she described as a “conscious uncoupling.”

Changing the Concept of Divorce

In the announcement, Paltrow made her intentions clear to remain separate from her husband and move on from their marriage, although she refrained from using the word “divorce.” It is not that Paltrow does not intend to go through the legal proceeding, but the information she published along with her announcement indicates that modern times call for a new view of divorce. It suggests that the idea of a lifetime partner is not realistic in modern times for many reasons, among them being our increased life expectancy, idealizing our partner to our own detriment in the early stages of marriage, and our lack of flexibility when adapting to changes in relationships.

Instead, Paltrow seems to support the idea that conscious uncoupling is a more accurate concept of divorce in today’s world. That idea involves restructuring our beliefs about marriage in order to let go of a rigid thought process. It suggests thinking of commitment as a daily renewal as opposed to a lifetime investment.

A conscious uncoupling involves the realization that any hostility with one’s partner is a sign of an internal struggle that needs to be addressed. The theory involves the notion that in this way, the spouses are assisting in each other’s spiritual development. Seen as such, animosity toward one another should lessen and a contentious divorce should be easily avoided, enabling the creation of a new, expanded family that allows successful co-parenting to happen. The family continues to function in a healthy way outside of the traditional marriage.

Divorce Attorneys

Whether more people will begin subscribing to the idea of “conscious uncoupling” remains to be seen. In some divorces, animosity is surely to be expected. Even if the entire idea behind “conscious uncoupling” is not necessarily appealing or seemingly realistic, the idea that couples can divorce and still maintain a positive, mature relationship that places the focus on parenting their children is a desirable one.