Handling Domestic Violence During a Divorce

 Posted on February 26, 2025 in Domestic Violence

Divorce can be difficult under any circumstances, but when domestic violence is involved, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. There are some steps you can take during your divorce to protect yourself and your children from a domestic abuser. That being said, if you or your children are in immediate danger, your first priority should always be to find a safe place. Perhaps that is with a trusted friend or relative or a local shelter. If the situation escalates, call 911 if you can do so safely. As soon as you are able, contact an experienced Wheaton, IL family law attorney who has experience with domestic violence and domestic abusers.  

What is a Protective Order?

Your first step may be to obtain a protective order that will keep your abusive spouse from contacting you or coming near your home, work, or your child’s school. Your attorney can help you file for a protective order; always keep a copy of the order with you, and if your spouse violates the order, immediately contact the police. It is important to note that protective orders do not always stop violent behavior, and with some abusers, a protective order can increase the danger of the situation. If you fear for your life or the life of your child, never rely exclusively on a protective order.  

Divorcing a Domestic Abuser

It is important that you work with a divorce lawyer who understands the challenges involved in divorcing a domestic abuser. Your attorney can guide you through the process, helping you understand all your options. If you have any documentation of the abuse - including threatening messages, photos, medical records, or police reports – make sure your attorney has copies of all of this evidence. The following steps come after you have done everything you can to ensure you and your child are safe.

• Have your attorney ask for temporary parenting time, spousal support, and exclusive use of the marital home, as this can help stabilize your position. However, if you fear for your life, a protective order cannot ensure your spouse will not come to the marital home.
• Tell the judge your child has been exposed to domestic violence.
• Request supervised visits to ensure your child's safety and prevent your spouse from attempting to leave the state with the child if you are concerned about that.  

Will the Judge Consider Domestic Violence When Making Divorce Decisions?

When the judge in your case is considering the allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time, a history of domestic violence on the part of your spouse will usually make a difference in these decisions. As far as the division of marital assets, domestic abuse does not typically make a difference unless the abuse caused you financial harm or if your spouse deliberately dissipated marital assets.

In either of these cases, the judge may award you a larger share of the marital assets. When determining whether you will receive spousal support, the judge may take domestic abuse into account, particularly if the abuse kept you from furthering your education or career as you otherwise would have. Your attorney can help you let the judge know about the domestic violence so it can be considered when these decisions are being made.

Make Sure You Have a Solid Support System During and After Your Divorce

Going through a divorce alone under any circumstances can be difficult, but going through a divorce when there was domestic abuse can really benefit from having support from friends and family members. It can also be helpful to connect with those in similar situations through support groups and have one-on-one counseling or therapy sessions. Once you have the appropriate legal protections in place, take one day at a time and believe that this will be a new, positive future for yourself and your child.

Contact a DuPage County, IL Divorce Lawyer

This is not a time when you should be navigating a divorce alone, with an attorney who has no understanding of the issues that arise when divorcing a domestic abuser. When you have a Wheaton, IL divorce attorney from Davi Law Group on your side, you can ensure your divorce will have the most positive outcome possible. Call 630-657-5052 to schedule your free consultation.