How to Have a Healthy Divorce

 Posted on January 28, 2014 in Divorce

Filing for divorce is one of the most stressful events a person can experience. In some cases, ending a marriage can cause psychological damage. Fortunately, there are several things that you can do to make the process easier and healthier for everyone involved. Many respond to the end of a marriage with grief and anger, or feelings of fear and anxiety. These feelings often catch you off guard. As you proceed through your divorce, it is important to be compassionate and kind to yourself. Try to avoid thinking of your divorce as a battle. Write down details and questions to ask your divorce attorney when you’re calm so that you will remember them later. It may also be helpful to develop a script of sorts for face-to-face communications with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. This can make things easier when you have to meet to discuss details, whether in court, or an alternative dispute resolution meeting. If there are children involved in the relationship, it is important that you do your best to keep conflict away from them. You need to come up with a plan for talking to your children, and talk to them together with spouse. Be honest and open with them in order to keep the lines of communication open, and give them plenty of notice before big changes like moving, or your spouse moving out. Following the divorce, try to minimize large changes for at least a year, and allow them to maintain close contact with their other parent. It is important to remind young children that the divorce is not their fault, and that both parents still love them. Finally, take care of yourself. It can be easy to let your personal needs slide during the stressful time, but it is imperative that you do not do so. If necessary, enlist the help of your family and friends. You may also consider seeing a therapist, or enrolling in a support group. Divorce isn’t something that anyone looks forward to, but it is possible to have a healthy divorce. Contacting a qualified Illinois divorce attorney can help. We can ensure that the process goes as smoothly as possible.