Options When a Child Resists/Refuses Contact with a Parent

 Posted on January 08, 2025 in Child Custody

When a child resists or refuses contact with a parent following a divorce, the cause could be difficult to determine. If the child is refusing contact because of parental alienation, this is a very serious issue that can potentially result in a change to custody (the allocation of parental responsibilities). This is because an alienating parent is perpetrating a type of psychological abuse on the child when deliberately convincing the child that his or her other parent is "bad" or is wholly responsible for the divorce.

If parental alienation is not the reason the child is resisting or refusing contact with a parent, then the reason must be determined. The age of the child and the reason for the refusal will have some bearing on whether a judge will force the child to engage in parenting time. If you are experiencing a similar situation, speaking to a knowledgeable Wheaton, IL family law attorney can be extremely helpful.

What Are Parental Obligations Regarding Visitation?

Parenting plans usually include detailed schedules, along with specific instructions for drop-off and pick-up times and locations. They also outline communication expectations for the parents with one another and for the parents and children. The parent who has primary parenting time is expected to make the child available for scheduled parenting time with the other parent.

If the child is ill or has a scheduling conflict, the other parent should receive notification of these issues in a timely manner. If one parent is the culprit in allowing the child to avoid parenting time with the other parent, he or she could be held in contempt by a judge and face repercussions. Otherwise, the child’s age could dictate how the matter is handled.

What Are the Potential Consequences for a Child That Refuses Contact with a Parent?

If the child refusing contact with a parent is a toddler, the issue could have little to do with the other parent and everything to do with the child’s age. A toddler is likely to feel more comfortable with the parent who has been the primary caretaker.  If this is the issue, both parents will have to work together so that the child feels comfortable spending time with both parents.

If the child is older and there is no parental alienation occurring, family counseling could be ordered by a family court judge. A parent who willfully fails to comply with a visitation order could find contempt proceedings initiated against him or her. The parent charged with contempt must show that he or she made significant efforts to ensure visitation occurred and could face fines or even jail time if found in contempt.

The noncustodial parent may also file a request to modify the allocation of parental responsibilities but must demonstrate a substantial change in circumstances. The court will always consider each parent's willingness to encourage the child’s relationship with the other parent.

What Should a Parent Do When His or Her Child Refuses Contact?

If a child is refusing contact with a parent, that parent should do the following:

• Make sure the other parent is aware of the child’s refusal to adhere to parenting time and document every instance of attempting to see the child.
• Discuss the issue with the child (depending on the child’s age) to find out why the child does not want to visit.
• If parental alienation is suspected, document evidence and seek relief from the court.
•  Consider counseling for the child or family counseling.
• Request a modification of parenting time.

Contact a DuPage County, IL Parental Responsibilities Lawyer

Although issues commonly arise with children during and after a divorce, when a child refuses to have contact with one parent, this can be particularly difficult to "fix." A DuPage County, IL parental responsibilities attorney can help determine the best course of action. When you choose Davi Law Group, you can rest easy, knowing we always have your best interests as our goal. Call 630-657-5052 to schedule your free consultation.