Separation harder through the holidays

 Posted on December 11, 2012 in Divorce

It is very common for families to delay taking steps of separation slower, or stopping them completely, until after the holiday season is over. For many couples, separation includes worrying about their children being affected by the family breaking apart. The first few steps are the hardest to take, and many couples hope that time together with their family will provide an opportunity to rethink such big decisions. Adding to the stress of separation, is the overspending of the season that most people surrender to every year. Financial realities get set aside for a few months. Come January, credit card statements will resurface and the tensions and worries, for those already confused as to how to restructure financially if they separate, resurface as well. Some ideas to take into consideration over the holidays to prepare for the separation include:

• Taking part in activities with the family that are free of cost, like ice skating or winter walks through festive areas of your town or city.
• Create new traditions for the season, traditions that can be easily carried out the following year in two households instead of one.
• Take a small step and look into mediation or collaborative practice before the holidays, so you have a better idea what it is about.
• Set an example of good communication between you and your spouse in front of your children. When you tell them about the separation, you can talk about the holidays as a time when you were considering the separation and it will help them see that you and your spouse will still be able to talk to each other.
• Try to have a productive conversation about budgeting for the holidays. If you are using joint credit cards, it will be easier to agree on who will be responsible for costs when you are planning a purchase.
• Begin to collect financial documents like credit card and bank statements, investment and RRSP statements, mortgage and property tax statements, etc. Prepare files so that each of you will have what you need after the separation.
• You should also check your credit rating. This way, you will have the same information as the bank when you start to renegotiate lines of credit or changes to your accounts and mortgage.
• Be sure to find time to research your options. This includes the cost of alternate accommodation in your area, local mortgage brokers, and local real estate agents.

Most importantly, your involvement in your separation and divorce is the biggest factor in reaching an outcome that works for everyone. Start preparing you and your family for what will come after the holiday season. For more help, contact an Illinois family law attorney in Wheaton and Warrenville. The Davi Law Group can help you work through your separation this holiday season.