Sheltering Your Kids From Your Divorce

 Posted on March 21, 2013 in Divorce

While you cannot protect your children from the fact that you and their other parent are getting divorce, you can shelter them to some degree from the negative aspects of divorce that can be damaging to them. Keep in mind that your children will be hurt by your divorce no matter how much you try to protect them. However, it is possible to minimize those feelings of hurt and loss by modifying your own behavior to some degree and putting the interests of your children first – even before your own interests. Although co-parenting with an ex-spouse can be difficult during the best of times, it can be unimaginable when you are in the throes of divorce proceedings. Before you engage in yet another argument with your soon-to-be-ex, realize that despite how you feel about him or her right now, he or she is, and will always be, your child’s other parent. As a result, a recent Huffington Post article stresses the responsibility of divorcing parents to foster the relationship between the child and the other parent. Here are some important guidelines that can help you be a better divorcing parent:

• Refrain from making any negative remarks about your ex in front of your children. They don’t need to know how your ex wronged you and you need to encourage their relationship with your ex.
• Don’t talk about money issues with your children that have to do with your ex. Don’t complain about late or unpaid child support. Don’t complain about the unpaid bills that your ex has left you with. It’s not your children’s problem. They need to feel safe and secure, not worried about money.
• Don’t put kids in the middle. It is not a child’s job to carry messages back and forth between divorcing parents. It is your job. If you can’t effectively or calmly talk to your ex, then use text messages or emails until you are able to do so.
• Do not ever make your child feel guilty about spending time with his or her other parent. No matter what, your child loves your ex and should spend time with him or her, just as your child loves and should spend time with you. It is not your child’s fault that he or she must now visit parents in different places.

Working with child custody and visitation issues in order to arrive at a workable co-parenting plan can be extremely difficult, especially when divorce proceedings first begin. Fortunately, an experienced Warrenville family law attorney can assist you in negotiating a fair settlement that is in the best interest of your children. Call our office today for assistance with your divorce, and put yourself on the road to happiness once more. Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos