How to Talk to Your Children About Divorce

 Posted on November 29, 2013 in Divorce

Divorce is a very stressful situation to go through, and throwing kids into the mix can make it much, much harder.  For many parents, the most overwhelming part of their divorce is breaking the news to their children.  However, with a few pointers, this talk can be made a lot smoother. Before sitting down to talk with your children, it is very important that you and your spouse agree on what exactly you are going to say.  You do not want to contradict one another while talking to your children, which could make things even more confusing for them, especially if they are younger. In some cases, spouses will have to give the talk separately.  Even if this is the case for you, try your best to still reach an agreed script so as not to send mixed messages to your kids. If your divorce is a relatively amicable one, try and sit down with your kids as a couple.  This will send the message that you are still a family, and even though you and your spouse are separating, you are still their parents.  This will also help assure them that you will both still play active roles in their lives. One of the most important pieces of advice for talking to your children about divorce is to make sure they know it is not their fault.  To do this, you want to give them reasons that they can live with.  Things like “we grew apart” are appropriate.  Your children will automatically assume that because they asked for something at the store, or fought with a sibling, the two of you are getting a divorce.  Assure them that it is nobody’s fault and your love for them will never change. Sitting down to talk about divorce with your kids may seem scary, but it doe snot have to be.  If you are preparing for “the talk” and have any questions, don’t be afraid to contact an experienced Illinois family law attorney to assist you.