A Child’s Best Interests vs. the Parents’ Wishes

 Posted on January 15, 2025 in Child Custody

Sometimes, a parent may be so focused on what he or she believes is best for a child during the allocation of parental responsibilities that it is difficult to understand a judge making an entirely different decision, calling it "in the best interests of the child." While custody issues are certainly emotionally charged for all those involved, family court judges must make difficult decisions regarding what is truly best for the child.

Each parent may be basing his or her wishes about child custody on the marriage itself rather than what kind of parent the other spouse really is. In short, it can be easy to lose sight of what is in your child’s best interests when you and your spouse are battling to the death about every other aspect of your divorce.

So, even though you might be happy if your child never saw your soon-to-be ex again, a judge may have a more impartial view of the situation. If you are currently facing a parental responsibilities issue or have other family law issues, you could benefit from speaking to an experienced Wheaton, IL family law attorney.   

How Does a Judge Decide What is in Your Child’s Best Interests?

An assessment of a child’s best interests is dependent on many different factors, including:

• What the child needs physically, emotionally, socially, and educationally
• Whether each parent is able to meet the child’s needs and provide a loving, safe environment
• The child’s current adjustment to his or her current home, school, and community, and how the stability of the child will be impacted by different allocations of parental responsibilities.
•  If the child is old enough and mature enough, his or her preferences will be considered.
• Whether each parent is willing to facilitate a loving relationship between the child and his or her other parent
• Whether any history of violence or abuse exists on the part of either parent
• Whether each parent is mentally and physically well  

Is a 50/50 Co-Parenting Agreement Really in the Child’s Best Interests?

The term "co-parenting" is popular right now, but a true 50/50 split may not always be in the child's best interests. Spending equal time with each parent sounds great in theory, but there are instances when it is not the best choice. There are three different types of co-parenting, and only one of these – cooperative co-parenting - is healthy for the child.

Unfortunately, only about 25 percent of co-parenting situations involve cooperative co-parenting, which involves parents working together with little conflict to make plans for their children. Cooperative co-parents are flexible with scheduling, doing their best to accommodate each parent’s work schedule as well as changes in the child’s schedule.  

The other two types of co-parenting agreements include parallel co-parenting and conflicted co-parenting. Parallel co-parenting involves parents who are emotionally disengaged from one another. While they may share parenting time, this is virtually all they share, and they are not parenting together. Conflicted co-parenting involves parents who grudgingly split the time spent with the child and have frequent conflicts. These parents rarely communicate in a healthy manner and likely have different parenting styles, rules, priorities, and schedules simply because they cannot agree on anything.  

If co-parenting is not cooperative, it is likely not in the child’s best interests. If conflicted or parallel co-parenting is the reality, the child will probably benefit from a more traditional custody agreement with one parent having parenting time at scheduled times. Many factors go into determining a child’s best interests. If two parents are unable to look past their own issues and make that determination, a judge will be forced to do it for them.

Contact a DuPage County, IL Allocation of Parental Responsibilities Lawyer

Determining the allocation of parental responsibilities can be an emotional issue. Having a strong legal advocate in your Wheaton, IL allocation of parental responsibilities attorney from Davi Law Group can make a significant difference in the outcome. Call 630-657-5052 to schedule a free consultation.