Can I Modify Custody if My Child Wants To Live With Me?

 Posted on April 14, 2025 in Child Custody

Easily one of the most challenging aspects of divorce is the child custody process. If you separate when your children are small, much can change from the date of the initial order until your child reaches adulthood. For this reason, Illinois family courts recognize that custody modification is sometimes necessary, and your child’s preferences can be a strong consideration in the modification process. A Wheaton, IL child custody lawyer can help you file a petition and build a strong case for the changes you plan to request.

When Does the Court Consider the Child’s Preference?

In Illinois, a child’s wishes play a crucial role in custody agreements, but the state's rules for the allocation of parental responsibilities mandate that the best interests of the child are the main priority. This means that a child’s preference, while sometimes taken into consideration, is often not weighed heavily into the final decision.

Your child’s maturity level can have an impact on how much weight their preference carries in court. While no fixed age allows a child to decide where they will live, the older they are, the more the court tends to value their opinions. In Illinois, judges generally start to consider a child’s preferences more carefully when the child reaches the age of 14. At this age or older, they will typically conduct interviews with the child in the judge’s office to allow them to express their thoughts on the custody arrangements. 

How Does the Court Assess Maturity? 

Age is not the only factor used to assess a child’s maturity level. While the court is more likely to give weight to the opinions of a 17-year-old, it generally looks for a child’s ability to express themselves maturely and offer a reasonable assessment of the situation. How the child adjusts to and thinks about their home, community, and school also shines light on their maturity level. 

The court will also consider the mental and physical health of all parties involved. These factors influence your child’s ability to refuse visitation with a parent. The court will assess the situation as a whole to determine whether any changes in custody will be in the child’s best interests. Often, because courts want to preserve relationships between a child and both parents whenever possible, judges will reduce the parenting time of one parent rather than completely end it. 

What Happens if Both Parents Do Not Agree?

Illinois law requires a parent to make their child reasonably available for visitation with a co-parent per the custody order. When a child refuses visitation, the parents are expected to communicate in an attempt to work it out. When they cannot agree, they may try other options:

• Work with a third party in mediation to reach a compromise

• Attend counseling as a family

• Recommend the child for counseling alone

• Seek custody modification with the court

However you approach the conflict, having a legal representative is the most efficient way to protect your rights as a parent and the best interests of your child.

Contact a DuPage County, IL Child Custody Lawyer Today

At Davi Law Group, we understand the value of a child’s preferences in a custody case. Their opinions and perspectives matter, and no one knows your child better than you. Call 630-657-5052 to schedule a free consultation with a Wheaton, IL child custody attorney and find out what you can do to give your child a voice.