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Couples spend months or years dating before they decide to marry. Yet, when it comes to divorce, parties sometimes make rash decisions, opting to end their marriage before fully thinking it through. It is only when they are buried by the grief and cost that regret starts to surface. By then, it may be too late to undo the damage. Do not let this happen to you. Stop and answer these five questions before you file the paperwork for your Illinois divorce.
Divorce is not the answer to every solution. Sometimes, couples simply need to reconnect, forgive, or make wants and needs clear to one another. Money issues, which can escalate stress levels and cause couples to argue more often, may simply need to be weathered until they pass.
In contrast, there are things that cannot be fixed with time, empathy, or patience. Abuse, infidelity, contempt, and irreconcilable differences (i.e. varying views on religion or parenting techniques) are just a few examples. Determine where you fall on the spectrum by considering if life would improve if you divorced, and clarify in what ways it would improve. Making your decision in this way reduces the risk of regret as you move forward with the process.
Even in the best of circumstances, divorce can be a costly endeavor. Thankfully, your overall expenses can be minimized through various methods, such as divorce mediation. Still, it is important to financially prepare for the process. It is also recommended that you have a fund set aside for your new place (if applicable) and at least three months of expenses.
Divorcees often report feelings of grief, sadness, regret, and loss in the early stages of their separation. While these emotions typically pass over time, it is important that you be prepared for them. Seek a support system and, if necessary, attend counseling or therapy.
Children have no say in the divorce, and that can cause them to feel helpless and alone. To make matters worse, parents are often distracted by the changes in their life and the overall divorce process. The end result can be a sad, disconnected, depressed, angry child that thinks they are somehow responsible (or perhaps simply unloved) for their parent’s separation. Vow to do things differently. Focus on ways to make things easier for your child. Protect their best interests, change as little about their lives as possible, and take the time to listen to their feelings.
Just as you had to compromise in your marriage, you will likely have to make some concessions in your divorce. You cannot reasonably have it all. So, instead of placing your focus on getting as much as you can, consider what it is that you really want of the divorce. Then decide what you might be willing to give up in order to get it. That way, you are better positioned to negotiate for what’s most valuable to you.
If you are considering a divorce, contact Davi Law Group, LLC for personalized legal assistance. Seasoned and experienced, our DuPage County divorce attorneys will be by your side throughout the entire process, protecting your interests. Call 630-657-5052 to schedule a consultation today.
Source:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/18/fashion/weddings/11-questions-to-ask-before-getting-a-divorce.html