Healing After Divorce: It is Possible!

 Posted on January 02, 2014 in Divorce

Divorce can be an emotional and heartbreaking experience for a family or individual. However, a new study, published in the Journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, suggests that individuals who have endured hardships, like divorce, are more appreciative of the good things in life. The authors of the study note, “The worst experiences in life may come with an eventual upside, by promoting the ability to appreciate life’s small pleasures.” Conducted by Alyssa Croft, Elizabeth W. Dunn and Jordi Quoidbach, their research reveals how “individuals who had dealt with more adversity in the past reported an elevated capacity for savoring.” However, of the 14,986 adult participants, those who were in the midst of a crisis reported a decrease in tendency to savor positive events. While it is natural to feel down when going through a crisis, this study confirms that an appreciation for life is built through these experiences, and that there is hope for moving on. For those struggling to heal and move on, Terry Gasbard, a licensed clinical social worker and college instructor, offers six suggestions. Gasbard’s analysis begins with assuring divorcees that it is normal to be affected by emotional reactions caused by the ending of a relationship, and that despite the divorce, those individuals are still worthwhile and do not have to allow the end of their love relationship to define their self-worth. She states, “No person can complete you.” She also suggests allowing proper time for healing and staying open to “new experiences, hobbies, or interests” that could not pursued prior to divorce. Finally, she suggests forming supportive relationships. Gasbard says, “Being with people who accept and support you can help ease feeling of rejection. Get energized by the possibilities ahead for you.” If you are struggling with divorce in Illinois, please know you do not have to go through it alone. Contact an experienced DuPage Family Law Attorney who will compassionately guide you through the legal process.