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Parenting Teen Children During Your Illinois Divorce
Divorce is a difficult experience for parents and children alike, filled with sadness, anger, fear, uncertainty, and a range of other strong emotions. While it is a challenging time for children of all ages, teens may find it especially hard to deal with their parents’ divorce at a time in their life that may already be marked by major transitions and heightened emotions. As a parent, you should be prepared for the impact your divorce will have on your teenagers and do your best to help them cope with the changes that come.
Common Responses to Divorce For Teen Children
Many teens struggle with their parents’ divorce and react in ways that may have a negative impact on their lives. Some of the most common effects of divorce on teens include:
- Academic Performance Issues: During a divorce, increased stress, lack of sleep, and difficulty focusing may all cause your teen’s grades and enjoyment of school to suffer.
How to Prepare for Remarriage After an Illinois Divorce
In the months and years following a divorce, many people find new partners with whom they want to spend their lives and decide to get married again. Remarriage can be a happy occasion and a time for celebration, but if you are planning for a second marriage, you should be sure to consider the changes it will bring for you and your family, as well as the legal matters you may need to address.
Addressing the Changes That Remarriage Brings
First and foremost, if you want to remarry, you must ensure that your divorce has been finalized and that your previous marriage has legally ended. If this is the case, then there are some additional factors for you to think through, including:
- Combining Households and Families: You and your new partner will need to decide where you will live after your remarriage and if this means buying a new home together. If you have children, you should think through the best way to introduce them to your new partner and any potential step-siblings. You also may need to seek a modification to your parenting plan to accommodate your new living situation.
10 Things to Know About Illinois Prenuptial Agreements
While a prenuptial agreement may not seem like the most romantic wedding gift, it is likely one of the most valuable. That is because it does not just protect you in the instance of divorce; it can also set the financial tone for your marriage and reduce the risk of arguments over money. With years of experience assisting engaged couples with their prenuptial agreements, our legal professionals have compiled a list of ten considerations to think about before signing your prenup.
Consider This
- More Than Just Money: Prenuptial agreements are not just for the rich and famous. Many couples, particularly millennials, use them to protect their intellectual rights to ideas, inventions, and artistic creations. Of course, not all ideas prove to be lucrative, but the point is that a prenuptial agreement protects your rights to these intangible assets (and any proceeds that may come from them).
How Can I Seek Parental Relocation After My Illinois Divorce?
After a divorce, it can be challenging to co-parent between two different households, and the challenge is bound to increase the farther apart the two parents live. Nevertheless, you may find yourself in a situation in which you need to move for career or personal reasons and want your children to come with you. Illinois law allows for a parent’s relocation under certain circumstances, but if you are planning to move more than 25 or 50 miles away from your children’s other parent, depending on the county where you currently live, you will be required to present your case to the court for approval.
Preparing for Questions in Your Relocation Hearing
As the court considers your relocation request, they will ask you a variety of questions to determine whether the move is in your children’s best interests. These questions may include:
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Does the other parent approve? When seeking relocation, you must provide the other parent with written notice at least 60 days before the move. If the other parent approves and signs the notice, you can file it with the court, and your relocation can proceed as planned. If not, you will need to file a petition with the court for permission to relocate.
Can You Reduce Illinois Child Support Payments After Losing Your Job?
One of the most important considerations in a divorce or any co-parenting situation is making sure that children are well provided for by both parents. Whether you are the custodial or non-custodial parent, you bear the responsibility to contribute financially to your children’s food, clothing, shelter, health, and education. However, as your financial situation changes, especially during the uncertain times of the COVID-19 pandemic, you may find it difficult to keep up with the payments in your original child support order. If you have recently been laid off or have experienced an involuntary drop in income, you should consider pursuing a modification to your order.
How Are Child Support Payments Calculated in Illinois?
In Illinois, child support payments are determined by combining both parents’ monthly net incomes and allocating an equitable percentage of the child support obligation to each parent. The calculation also considers the number of children, their needs, and the standard of living they would have experienced in a two-parent household. Typically, the custodial parent fulfills their obligation by spending more time and money caring for the children directly, while the non-custodial parent is expected to make monthly payments to the custodial parent. Because each parent’s income is a significant factor in the calculation, if you have experienced a change in your income, it is important to seek a modification to the order whether you are the custodial or the non-custodial parent.
What is Parental Alienation, and What Can You Do About It?
While most parents only want what is best for their children, there are those who are more focused on “winning” than the child’s best interest. Some may even go so far as to commit parental alienation. In today’s post, you will learn more about parental alienation, including how to determine if your child may be a victim, and what actions can be taken to protect the child.
What is Parental Alienation?
Minor issues, such as arguments in front of the kids and ill-spoken words are fairly common in the initial stages of a divorce or separation. Though still harmful, these negative behaviors typically dissipate over time. Each parent heals from their grief or anger, sees the nature of their wrongs, and strives to improve for the benefit of the child.
Parental alienation is different, specifically in terms of severity and the long-term continuance of the offending parent’s poor behavior. Their reasons behind it are varied (i.e. a need or desire to control, fear of losing the child’s love or affection, wanting to hurt or get even with the other parent), but the results are often devastatingly similar. The child suffers mentally and emotionally and, as a result, they may develop maladjustment issues, such as an identity crisis, depression, or even outright hatred toward a parent that they once loved dearly.
5 Ways to Prepare for Your Illinois Divorce
Preparation is the key to a smoother, less tumultuous divorce. How you go about it—the steps you take and the methods you use to prepare—is important as well. Give yourself the best possible chance at a positive outcome by preparing for your Illinois divorce in the following five ways.
1. Focus on Your Finances
In a divorce, spouses must value and then divide their marital estate in an equitable manner. For most, this means a significant reduction in assets, which may be combined with an overall decrease in each household’s income (i.e. one income instead of two). Parties are strongly encouraged to create a budget and a financial plan to help them prepare for this shift. It is also advised that parties gather any and all documentation on marital assets to increase their chances of receiving a fair settlement in the divorce.
2. Protect the Children
How you protect your children in a divorce will depend greatly on the situation. Some may need to seek orders of protection and specialized help (i.e. a Guardian Ad Litem) to ensure the safety of their children. However, most children simply need support as their parents separate. They may need room to express their feelings, a chance to ask questions, and perhaps a little extra love and attention as they come to terms with the divorce. Therapy and support groups may also be necessary to help a child through the process.
Planning to File for Divorce? Avoid This One Critical Mistake
In a divorce, parties may face numerous obstacles and challenges. If not handled thoughtfully, any one of them could result in negative consequences. There is one mistake that trumps all others, however. Learn what it is and how to avoid it in today’s post.
The Biggest (and Most Common) Divorce Mistake
After months, perhaps even years of fighting and arguing, most divorcing parties want to quickly and peacefully end their marriage. Unfortunately, if you are too agreeable, you could place your own future at risk. As an example, consider this all too familiar scenario:
Your spouse files paperwork. You look it over, but the jargon is confusing. Still, you trust that your ex has the same goal as you—to end things peaceably and get on with your lives. You sign the paperwork and discover, far too late, that your spouse has done something underhanded.
Perhaps they have stipulated that you must co-sign on their new mortgage, only you do not have any legal rights to the property. Maybe they have created a parenting plan that gives them more time and decision-making power, even though you verbally agreed upon a 50-50 split. The point is that you have signed and agreed to their conditions, and you are now powerless to make changes or alterations to the decree.
How a Prenuptial Agreement Can Benefit Your Marriage
Prenuptial agreements are designed to minimize the risk of complications in a divorce, but this is not their only potential benefit. Used correctly, this legal document can also benefit a couple during their marriage. Get the details on how a prenup can benefit (and possibly even strengthen) your marriage, and discover how a seasoned family law attorney can help to smooth the conversation, should you decide to get one before you wed.
1. Prenups Can Bolster Your Marriage Against Money Issues
Money is the second leading cause of divorce—and not just because one party has it and is trying to control it. Couples may earn close to the same amount but have wildly different views on how money should be spent or saved. As a result, they may argue incessantly over money, which can erode the foundation of their marriage. Alternatively, their financial goals may not align with one another, so the parties may work against one another instead of together toward a common goal.
Parallel Parenting - The Pros, the Cons, and Tips for Making it Work
In an ideal world, every divorced or separate couple would put their differences aside and make great efforts to effectively co-parent their children. Unfortunately, the world is quite far from ideal. Some parents are narcissistic or vengeful. Some are abusive. In either case, the healthy parent is hindered in their co-parenting efforts, and the child may suffer. Parallel parenting may be a solution to these difficult situations.
What is Parallel Parenting?
Parallel parenting requires each parent to focus on their own interactions with the child. You do not concern yourself with the rules at your ex’s house. You let go of concerns over diet, bedtimes, and discipline (unless there is abuse, in which case you are encouraged to talk to an attorney about your options). In short, you do you and allow the other parent to do the same.
While it may seem strange to let go of what happens when your child is away, odds are, the other parent also wants what is best for the child. They may not make the same decisions that you would, and their rules may be different, but that does not necessarily make them wrong.
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